I asked my husband the other day, ‘Are we doing anything for Valentine’s Day?’ I asked him this because I only just remembered that it was coming up and I couldn’t remember whether we celebrated it. There are certain holidays that we don’t celebrate in the traditional way. The strange thing about this was that, in college, I vividly recall being shocked when a friend of mine had no clue when Valentine’s Day was. I couldn’t believe anyone in America, especially a woman, wouldn’t know this date.

After all, I pined over not having a Valentine for years. I wanted the romance, but most of all – I wanted to be loved. Back then, I believed I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t even worthy of love. I hated everything about myself – the way I looked, the way I felt, how people treated me, that I was different – everything. So, I spent a lot of time sitting alone in my room, watching romantic comedies, wishing my life was different.

I wanted someone – anyone – to love me. And, more than anything, I desperately wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day. I wanted flowers sent to me publicly – what’s the sense if nobody’s sees it, right? I wanted to be wined and dined, given jewelry, perfume, and experience music and dancing. The whole nine.

Then I got angry and bitter about Valentine’s Day – telling myself it was just a commercial holiday anyway. And, now that I have a built-in Valentine, I don’t know if I’m celebrating Valentine’s Day. What gives? Am I really that ungrateful? Jaded? What changed?

In short, I did. I changed my outlook and allowed myself to open not only to life, but to love. And I’m convinced everyone has the ability to open themselves and create a life they love.

Do you love the life You’re Living? How do you show it?

You see, now, just about every day, I wake up happy. Unbelievably, deeply, thoroughly and completely happy. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a morning person. What I’m saying is, I am not only at peace with life and waking up to it, I love it. I absolutely love the life I am living.

I love my husband, our dogs, my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, my colleagues, my friends, my acquaintances, strangers and my enemies. I love my career and my lifestyle. And, by almost every measure, I am what you’d call “a success”.

I love all of it. It’s true, there are times when I certainly don’t like every aspect all the time. Days when I experience sadness, days when my husband tests my nerves (he seems to do that better than anyone), and my life and the things in it definitely aren’t “perfect”, but I love it. As Robert Plant sang, that’s “a whole lotta love.” But what it boils down to is this: I simply love living and love being me. At least, now I do… And, I try to show it every day not just on Valentine’s Day.

I learned that to create a life you love you have to OPEN. But even before you get to the nitty-gritty of what it means to open and how to do it, you need to understand that when you show and appreciate your love it grows. Anyone who has multiple children or pets know Why You Should Stop Celebrating Valentine’s Day

Anyone who has multiple children or pets knows that when you add another, the amount and quality of love you have for the first one didn’t change. Your love grew and you suddenly had more love to give to the second one.

So where’s the love in your life? There many realms and aspects of your life to love: Your family, your friends, your pets, your children, your work, your hobbies, your lifestyle, your spiritual beliefs and practices, your home, your abilities, your talents, and of course, your beautiful self.

Love is indeed around you. So, acknowledge it, let it in and spread it out. If you do, it grows.

I finally realized that ignoring Valentine’s Day, boycotting it, emphatically stating its commercial nature, are all excuses for pushing love away and shutting it out. If I want love, why not open the door and welcome it into my life? But, then, why am I not celebrating Valentine’s Day?

This year I’m consciously celebrating everything I love instead of simply observing the holiday. Do you get what I’m saying? Instead of doing what I’m “supposed” to do for Valentine’s Day, I’m proactively proclaiming and praising who and what I love.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, love and celebrate yourself, your life and everything you love each day, every day, including Valentine’s Day.

So, stop celebrating Valentine’s Day and start celebrating love.

Here are 3 easy ways you can spread the love instead of the hype:

1. Instead of saying “Happy Valentine’s Day!,” thank your friends and loved ones and tell them how much you appreciate them being in your life.
2. Pay a sincere compliment to a stranger or someone who you normally wouldn’t.
3. Write a short love note to yourself. It can be to yourself right now or you can write it to your younger self, perhaps at a time when you needed love. Whatever feels right to you.

So, what are you going to celebrate this Valentine’s Day? I’d love to know.