Does the thought of getting naked send a shiver down your spine? Don’t worry. You can leave your clothes on for this one if you want. I’m talking about a different kind of naked – outlook naked. I’m inviting you to take off your eyeglasses and embrace your naked eye vision of the world.

Your naked eye view is the ability to see everything with fresh, non-judgmental eyes. When you see with your naked eye view, you see things for what they truly are instead of what you think they’re supposed to be. It allows you to see possibility instead of limitation. It allows you to see, accept and love yourself as you are – no judgment.

Back when I could see, my eyeglasses were a part of me. They were a part of who I was and I was comfortable wearing glasses. In fact, I was so comfortable wearing them that just over a year after I had lost any usable sight — I could see light, dark and shadows, I was still wearing my dark-brown tortoise-shell frames with half-inch thick, bifocal lenses. I’d wake up and put on my glasses every morning even though they didn’t do me a lick of good anymore. Sheer ridiculousness – I know that now.

It was pointed out to me abruptly and in the most unceremonious way. A girl that I had just met took one look at me with my white cane, pointed accusatorially at it and asked sharply and matter-of-factly, “Why do you have that stick?” Well, I don’t know if she actually pointed at it, but it sure felt like she did. My throat began to burn, I quavered and paused for a moment and said, “I’m blind. The girl responded as abruptly and matter-of-factly as before. “Why are you wearing glasses if you can’t see?”

I walked away wondering to myself — “Good question. Why am I wearing these glasses?” They really were useless to me. So, why on earth was I still wearing them? I told myself then that it was from habit. But as I look back on it now, I realize that continuing to wear my glasses was a manifestation of my outlook. I was unconsciously judging myself. My then outlook included the assumption that happiness and success were only possible if I achieved what I thought was the “ideal” or “perfect” 20/20 standard. I thought I could only find happiness and success if I looked like what I thought happiness and success looked like — and, what I thought happiness and success looked like was the opposite of everything I was.

Despite the fact that few if any of the people I knew met my 20/20 standard, I still managed to view everyone else as being better than I was, better than they actually were, or as being the unique individuals with their own gifts to share that they were. Yet I couldn’t see myself this way. With this warped outlook, clearly everyone but me must be happy. I thought the problem was me. But, the problem was the outlook I had chosen. By choosing to put on my glasses every day, I didn’t have to be blind. I didn’t have to consciously admit to myself that I couldn’t see. And, if I didn’t admit it, I didn’t have to accept my blindness. But I also couldn’t be, know, accept and love myself. And, deep down, I wanted to be loved.

Once I realized this, I decided to go out into the world with my bare-naked eyes wide open. No longer would I hide who or what I was. I was blind, and I wanted to figure out exactly what that meant for me. And, I never put those glasses back on again.

What’s your outlook? Do you find yourself judging yourself – saying I’m not thin enough, fit enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, balanced enough or whatever enough? Who’s 20/20 standard are you measuring yourself against? How might your 20/20 standard be limiting you and how true is this standard really? I’ll tell you, it’s probably not all that true. For me, I thought a blind woman couldn’t be happy and successful, but I am. Who ever thought that one of the most powerful and influential women in America would look like Oprah? Probably not many, if you’re looking through a 20/20 standard outlook. But when you use your naked eye, you see the possibility of what could be.

Putting away your glasses and going out into the world with naked eyes means that you go into the world with curiosity and explore what’s possible. Are you ready to “see” yourself– and life — as you really are? Are you ready to reveal a new outlook that enables you to feel the way you want to feel ? Start by identifying the thoughts and beliefs that make up your 20/20 standard. Bringing awareness to this allows you to question the standard and explore what it looks like to choose differently. And always remember, you’ve got the power to choose. So, if you’re ready to get naked, that in itself is a choice. Let the positive energy of that choice move you forward.

Everyone Seems To Be Moving Closer to Realizing Their Dreams and Living the “good Life” Except for You – So, What Are You Doing Wrong? Your friend just got a major promotion; your cousin just closed on a beautiful house your coworker got that big bonus and you are happy for them – really you are – you don’t even want exactly what they got because you’re on a totally different path… Still you can’t help but feel a slight pang of envy. Why isn’t it you? Why aren’t things flowing in your life the way you’d like? Here’s why and what to do about it.

First of all, envy is completely and 100% normal. Even if few people like to admit feeling envious, most, if not all of us, have been there. And, just like every other feeling it can be a helpful indicator of what you actually want in your life and can point you in the right direction if you approach it with curiosity and compassion.

Envy arises when you are caught in or envision yourself in someone else’s success. The word “envy” actually comes from the Latin to eye or to see. You see them get the promotion the house, the bonus or whatever and you compare yourself to them and want the feeling you imagine they have.

I used to do this all the time. I would constantly compare myself to everyone. The never-ending loop of questions in my head went something like this – Am I as pretty as her? Am I as smart as her? What does she have that I don’t? Why can’t I do what she’s doing? Why can’t I have a life like hers? And on and on…

Then, after all the questioning and daydreaming about this other person and their success, you feel guilty because you know you “shouldn’t” feel that way. You “should” be happy for them, right?? So, why do you feel so awful?

Well, the reason you feel bad for feeling envious isn’t because you’re a bad person. You feel bad because you are taking your energy and attention away from your own vision and putting it on someone else. You are denying and withholding your attention from yourself and that feels bad because deep down you know you and your vision are worthy of your own energy and attention. In other words, feeling envy is a sign that you want your own success. And, giving yourself your own energy and attention is the only way you will ever actually experience your own well-deserved success.

So, what to do? Stop looking out the window and start looking in the mirror. Instead of longingly peering into the success of others, reflect on what you are thinking and feeling. Put your full attention back on yourself and ask what it is that you really want; how do you want to feel in this situation and beyond; what will make you feel happy and successful.

When you do this, you will transform your feelings of envy into the empowering and liberating feeling of empathy. You will be able to not only whole-heartedly celebrate the success of others’, you will be able to celebrate yourself and your successes as well.

This past Friday was my wedding anniversary. And, I didn’t spend it with my honeybunny sharing a fabulous meal in front of the fireplace with a nice glass of wine for me and craft beer for him. Nope, not this year. I spent my wedding anniversary 200 miles away with Oprah at her #TheLifeYouWanttour stop in Newark, New Jersey. And, I am completely unapologetic about it and don’t regret it one bit. Do you think that is selfish of me?

A lot of the people in my life were confused by this. I got quite a few huhs?, a couple of “aw, that’s too bads” And more than one person quipped “I guess the honeymoon’s over”. But it made perfect sense to me and my husband, Lance.

You see, I’d rather create a life I love with the man I love and celebrate the life we’ve created together than conform to traditional notions and celebrate a day by looking back at the day that was “supposed” to be the “happiest day of my life.” Frankly, it was an incredibly beautiful and important day in my life, but the happiest day of my life is today, right now, each and every day I reaffirm my choice to live and love deeply and fully into my vision with Lance by my side.

I have a calling, a vision for myself and my life. I was put here for a purpose. I have been blessed with a life that has both challenged me and taught me exactly how to overcome limitations, see possibilities, seize opportunities, realize my dreams, reach my highest potential and create a life I love living. What’s even more is that I’ve also been blessed with the uncanny ability to guide others to do the same in their own lives and have been blessed with the gift of my voice to share my message and method with the world. And, Lance not only gets it, he lovingly and sometimes very matter-of-factly holds me to it. I am blessed and deeply grateful for all he has and continues to do to support me. So, when I told him that the closest Oprah Life You Want Tour stop was on our anniversary and 200 miles away, he didn’t miss a beat. His only response was “You have to go.” So, I went.

It was indeed a fabulous experience. Now, after the #TheLifeYouWantWeekend with #Oprah and her trailblazers, #IyanlaVanzant, #RobBell, #ElizabethGilbert, and #MarkNepo, my vision is even more clear, even more strong and I am even more committed to making the difference I know in my heart I am meant to make. I am renewed, revitalized and ready to serve. My perspective is sharpened and I am ready for change, growth and evolution. And, I was met with change as soon as I got home…

When I got home Sunday night, things were different. While I was away doing inner work, completely unbeknown to me, Lance was at home preparing for my return. He tore out the old carpet in my boudoir and laid new hardwood flooring. He also Rearranged the furniture in my boudoir, our bedroom and the living room. Insert Helen Keller joke here, LOL! But, I wasn’t angry or disoriented. Rather, I was pleasantly surprised, curious and excited. The new lay out was fresh, open and spacious. It worked so much better than how it originally was that I couldn’t help but think- why didn’t I want to do this sooner? The reason is because sometimes growth can be daunting- especially when you are thinking about everything that goes into it and don’t have a supportive person to remind you of your vision and help you create the conditions necessary for realizing it.

What’s your calling? Your vision? Do you have people in your life that get it and hold you to it? Where are you holding on to the way things are supposed to be or were in the past? What in your life needs to be rearranged to better accommodate who you actually are and the life you want? And, do you have a person who supports and encourages you to live into your vision? If so, show them your gratitude for their presence in your life. If not, seek out people who can and will help you.

Sometimes you need another person to wake you up to your true potential so you can begin to see your own vision for yourself and your life. As I told #Oprah when I met her, I do not belong in the audience; it’s time for me to turn up the volume. And, that’s true not only for me, but you as well. You do not belong in the audience, watching your life play out. You deserve to be center stage in your life actively and consciously fulfilling your roles as you define them. You are the greatest leader of your life and you have the power to choose to follow your vision, follow your heart and fulfill your dreams. So, yes, my dear, the honeymoon’s over! Your life’s waiting for you to claim it, shape it and live it.

Admission time – I, Angela Winfield, am a chronic procrastinator. That’s right. I’ve managed to get a lot done and continue to accomplish a great deal, but, no doubt about it, I am a chronic procrastinator. It creeps in less and less, but it’s something I still deal with from time to time. IN fact, I procrastinated writing this very post!  And, if you’re wondering, yes, it is the very reason I’m writing about procrastination. Do you want to know my secret for putting an end to procrastination and getting it done? Then, read this!

First, let’s take a quick look at some of the reasons you might procrastinate. There are three common reasons.

1.  You work better under pressure

2.  It’s a difficult, boring or downright dirty task and you have zero desire to do it

3.  It’s a big, important task and you don’t know where to begin and don’t want to screw it up or do it wrong

Any of these sound familiar to you? They most certainly do to me.

Then there are the outright lies you tell yourself: “it won’t take that long to do”; “I’ll get to it right after I finish this thing I’m doing right now”; and the list goes on. I’m guilty of this too.

Ultimately, when you procrastinate, you end up feeling stressed, disappointed, angry, guilty and a whole host of other self-directed negative emotions. I’ve been there and even though you feel this way when you procrastinate, the bad feeling isn’t enough to stop you from procrastinating the next time no matter how convinced and committed you are when you declare “I’m never going to do this to myself again!”. And, you always declare that- don’t you? I know I did.

The traditional advice for stopping procrastination includes publicly declaring your goal, getting an accountability buddy, putting some skin in the game by making a stretch investment so there’s money at stake, breaking the task down into tiny doable pieces, and so on. These are good techniques and can help at times, but they simply won’t work for putting an end to procrastination in the long run. The reason they won’t work is because they don’t get you started. Isn’t that what procrastination really is – delaying getting started or restarted on a task?

The traditional techniques are aimed at adding more pressure. This is a problem because, not only might pressure be one of the reasons you procrastinated in the first place, the traditional techniques are based on choosing to be driven by avoidance of fear, embarrassment, shame and disappointment. When you avoid what you don’t want, you lose sight of what it is you do want to create and experience. Too often, people spend their time, energy and actions running from and avoiding what they don’t want that they never get clear on what they do want. Without connecting to what you want, you will never connect to the energy and emotions that naturally, motivate, inspire and fuel you to start. Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for harnessing what we typically think of as negative or draining emotions we want to avoid. But, quite frankly when it comes to dealing with procrastination, I don’t want a technique that makes me feel pushed, obligated or shamed in to doing anything – who does?  And, I especially don’t want to feel pushed into doing something I know I have to do or even something I want to do, but don’t know where to start.

So, how to put an end to procrastination? Get yourself started and propel yourself forward by generating constructive, fueling energy and emotion like motivation, inspiration, enthusiasm and excitement. How you ask? Launch my 2-step procrastination power plan? It takes less than 5 minutes.

Step 1: Get quiet for 30 seconds to 1 minute and connect with what you’ll gain from completing the task. Ask yourself questions like, “why did I put this task on my list?”; “what type of person will I be or what characteristics will I have/demonstrate by completing this task?”; “how can I express myself and my core values by completing this task?”

Step 2: Remember your theme song from my earlier post? Sing it baby, in your head, out loud or play the song if you have it at the ready.

Keep this easy 2-step plan at your desk, near your computer or where ever you do your work so it’s ready and waiting for you when you need it. Do it now, no procrastinating! Trust me it comes in handy and will jumpstart you out of procrastination and into action! Let me know how it works.

Just let go… Relax… Release control… Go with the flow… let things unfold… Has anyone ever given you this sage advice? I’ve gotten this advice so many times – most recently in Panache Desai’s book, Discovering Your Soul Signature, which I’m in the process of reading – and it’s great advice, but it goes against all my instincts. Secretly, every time I hear this advice one part of me says “Ahhh, that’s a beautiful idea” and the other part says go with the flow, you’ve gotta be crazy! I’ve gotta keep this ship movin’!” If you’re at all like me, keep reading because I’m going to tell you exactly how I learned to let go. And, I’m still learning because, for me, when it comes to letting go, it’s a conscious choice I make.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you I like control – especially when it comes to making and executing a plan – when my family goes on our annual holiday getaways, you can rest assure that I know the best restaurants in the area, available activities, I even draft up a day-by-day itinerary. Yes, I do this! Really relaxing, right? Micromanaging and exerting control in this way has definitely served me well in my life and career just as I have no doubt planning and paying close attention to detail has served you in your life. But, it also can lead to rigidity, frustration and disappointment when things don’t go as planned. I’ve certainly experienced that! So, what to do? How do you let go and still make forward progress?

Let go of the idea that the plan is the way it actually is or must or should go. You don’t have to let go of the plan. Keep the plan (and I’m not just saying that because plan is one of my 4 master keys for success, which it is — I’m saying it because having a plan is important. But, it’s more important to not only realize, but internalize the reason and purpose of the plan and keep the plan flexible and fluid. That way, you are present in your life engaging, authentically and in real time, with all you encounter. What I’m saying is instead of letting go of the plan, let go of your attachment to the plan. Have a clear core intention and hold true to that intention. Things are not always going to go as planned. You know that. There will be obstacles, detours, unexpected challenges as well as unexpected opportunities and adventures. If you are overly attached to the plan, you’ll overlook and miss out on all of the richness of life. Having a plan helps you stay on course or get back on course when you encounter an obstacle or when you take a detour. Always remember, your plan is the starting point, not your destination. It’s a guide for one way to get you to where you want to go, but the plan isn’t what you want to experience – you want to experience your intention.

How do I apply this when it comes to my near obsessive vacation planning? Well, my intention is to have fun and enjoy the company of my family not to be the schedule mistress. I still make a plan because it is fun for me to learn about where we’re going and I do genuinely enjoy it, but I no longer email my planned agenda out to everyone and I no longer expect events to unfold exactly as I planned. Instead, I use my plan merely as a guide and stay open to whatever opportunities that come up and whatever makes my intention of having fun reality. Sometimes, all goes as planned, most of the time it doesn’t, but regardless I hold true to my intention and have fun and enjoy the company of my family, which was the whole point of the plan in the first place.

So, let go… relax… release control… go with the flow… let things unfold… And, embody your intention. It feels incredibly good!

Just the other week, the two social marketing guys I’m working with sent me Danielle Laporte’s new book, Desire Map (which , by the way, contains some pretty good content).

The note read: “Angela, I am way overdue on this, but here is a gift from me and John Wayne. It is Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map book . . . “

This note got me thinking. Why on earth did he qualify their gift in this way? Way over due?

Maybe for them because they decided to gift the book to me some time ago. But, from my point of view, I was delighted to receive the gift. Overdue? I don’t think so. It was right on time.

First, this gift just like any other gift wasn’t due to me. And second, I welcome and appreciate gifts whenever they come to me.

As I thought about it longer, I realized that apologizing when we give gifts, isn’t really that uncommon. How many times have you given a gift and started with “they didn’t have the one I wanted to get you, but…”, I wanted to get you…”, “I’m sorry I didn’t get this to you sooner…”.

I know I’ve done this more times than I can remember. Most recently, I caught myself doing it this past weekend. I had planned to surprise my husband by taking him to see Alton Brown’s Edible Inevitable tour. It was a perfect surprise. My husband and I are both foodies and my husband is a huge Alton Brown fan. By divine chance I found out the tour was coming to town and my husband had absolutely no clue – even when he checked the website, for whatever reason, it didn’t show that the tour was coming to our area. When I called for tickets, the meet and greet tickets were sold out. So, I got regular tickets. I still was giddy because I knew how much he would enjoy it, but I had a pesky, nagging thought that gnawed on my mind from the time I bought the tickets to the day of the show- “the meet and greet would have been so much better”.

When it was finally time to reveal the surprise, guess what? I had a strong urge to tell him about the meet and greet and how that’s really what I wanted to get him.

Yep, I wanted to apologize for not getting him the particular tickets, even though it was out of my control – the meet and greet tickets were sold out. I wanted to tell him how I wanted to do more. I wanted to prove to him of how thoughtful I was and how much I love him. However, by succumbing to that urge, I would have diminished the gift I was giving.

How often do you hold yourself back or minimize your efforts and actions by apologizing and thinking, well, I wanted to do this, that or the other thing. This limits the joy we feel from giving, and dampens the success of a well planned surprise, and more often than not it causes the recipient to reassure you that your gift is perfect. And, that’s the crux of the issue – the need for reassurance. Giving requires you to be vulnerable. When you give, you really are putting yourself out there. And, that is the true gift of giving – sharing a bit of yourself with the recipient.

When we apologize or make excuses for our gifts, we unwittingly limit ourselves, hamper our ability to experience joy, and, ultimately, reduce the power of our gift. Part of this stems from the well known saying that “it’s the thought that counts”. That’s a nice saying, but let’s dispel that myth right now. When it comes to giving and sharing, that’s a lie. Thoughts of being kind and generous warms the heart, but the unapologetic act of giving what we are able to, uplifts the soul of both giver and receiver regardless of the size of the gift. Think about it, would you rather hear your friend tell you how she thought about planning a huge surprise party for you with all the trimmings, but couldn’t pull it off for whatever reason, or would you rather spend an hour of quality time enjoying the company of your friend? I know which I’d prefer.

When you give, don’t be ashamed or hold back. Maybe the next gift will be “bigger” or “better”, but the gift you have now still is a gift and still is meaningful and powerful. It deserves to be shared and valued for what it is – a generous offering of love and appreciation. It’s not the size or timing of the gift, it is the gift of giving and receiving the gift. That is where the power and joy resides. In the act – the exchange – in the simple saying of “here, I got this for you”.

The time to share your gifts is now. And, the important thing is that we share them. The recipient always is ready to accept them. This is true not only for material gifts, but for our unique personal talents and gifts as well. Our gifts, in all their forms, are meant to be given and shared.

So, when you’re the giver, give and share your gifts unapologetically; when you’re the recipient, receive gratefully, humbly and knowing the gift arrived right on time.

Join me for a Google Hangout interview with @Bob Sima tomorrow.. RSVP Today please… http://bit.ly/1A327VD

The power of this man’s voice to open your heart and touch your soul… whieu! He held me spellbound and after I heard Bob Sima sing for the first time, I literally gave him the keys to my house and welcomed him in – that’s before I ever even talked to him person to person!

Then, when we did meet, he effortlessly helped me find my own singing voice, I wrote a song and I got to sing it with him! I’ll tell you the whole story during the hangout… I knew his music had to be shared with the world and I felt called to be a part of that movement. And, the thing I love most about Bob’s music is that it’s not just music with a message, it’s GOOD music with a message. His music inspires me and I’ve been grooving out on it almost every day for almost a year- it doesn’t get old. And, to top it off Bob, himself, is a generous, beautiful soul. I’m so thrilled to interview him and hope you can be there. http://bit.ly/1A327VD

Yes, that’s right, my dear. Whether you love it or hate it, it’s all about you. Sound self-centered? You’d better believe it is and you’d better get used to it if you want to create a positive impact in this world while living a life you love. Depending on your outlook, that might sound like a bad thing to you. I’ll tell you why it’s absolutely not…

Because you are going to be with you for the rest of your life. Where ever you go and whatever you do, you’re always going to be in the company of yourself. So, why not dive right into the heart of you? You do want to be the best you possible, don’t you? Well, that’s all about you, my love. It will have a tremendous impact on others, but when it really comes down to it, it’s all about you. And, I’m not talking about your typical self-centeredness. I’m talking about being centered in who you are and what you stand for.

Even when you are all about service and caring for other people, it’s still all about you. You say, that can’t be true, being of service isn’t about me, it’s about helping others and doing good. I ask, doing good, based on what? The answer is it’s doing good based on YOU – your own understanding of yourself, other people, the world, how it operates and what you believe to be good. It all comes back to you. Even if hundreds, thousands or millions of people agree with you, your choice to accept and recognize the common good as something that resonates with who you are and what you do most certainly is about you. It says something about you. Don’t feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed about it. Own it. Love it and celebrate it – ‘cause it’s you – the real, live, authentic you. Let it shine.

To do this, you have to move from self-consciousness to self-awareness. You have to stop being overly worried about what people think of you and start getting to know and love you. You’ve got to figure out where you end and other people begin. Yes, we’re all connected- that’s the human spirit in all of us, but we are not one in the same. We are our own unique expressions of life. So, you’ve got to be the definitive expert in you. That doesn’t mean closing yourself off and shutting out valuable feedback from others. It means having the compassion to allow yourself to be honest with yourself about your strengths, gifts and talents, your flaws, weaknesses and challenges as well as your attitudes, values and beliefs.

Until you get it’s really about YOU, you’re just a person running around doing good. But, when you get it’s all about YOU, doing good becomes an expression of who you are, the actions you take and how you choose to live your life. The difference is that, if you aren’t self aware enough to realize that you are at the center of what you’re doing, you will get exhausted, frustrated and angry. You likely will judge others and not understand why they aren’t hopping on board with you and doing good in the exact same way. But, when you realize where and how you fit in to what you’re doing, you not only show up more powerfully with much more ease and grace, you also are able to attract attention and support from all different types of people you never thought you could.

So, get in the center of you and make what you do about you- today and everyday!

John Lennon sang, “you may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.” I know Lennon was correct and I’m not the only dreamer. So, where are the rest of you dreamers and want-to-be dreamers? I know you’re out there. If you’re one, can I please get a woot woot?! Jay-Z and Lennon – come on – gotta love that! 😉 Okay, I’m having too much fun today… But, instead of dialing back on the fun, I’m asking you to join me in it. And, I’m totally serious about that – where are all the dreamers?

Remember being told as a child by a parent or teacher that you could be whatever you wanted to be? When did you stop believing that and start believing you are only defined by the roles and labels placed on you? You’re more than a parent, a professional, significant other and all the other roles you play. You know that. And, I know there are bills to pay and stuff that has to get done, but you can’t forget it’s your dreams that propel you onward and upward. It all starts with a dream – all the way from the founding of the United States of America, The Civil Rights Movement right down to the beginning scene of Pretty Woman(remember that movie?) and even the success in my own life. It all started with a dream.

It takes courage to be a dreamer – especially as an adult. I know that first hand – when I share my dreams, I often get awkward silences, strange looks (I don’t have to see it, I can feel a strange look as well as a smile) and plenty of “get reals.” But, you know what? If I took those naysayers’ advice and “got real,” I wouldn’t be an attorney, I wouldn’t own my own home, be a real estate investor, write, speak, coach or share my message, I probably wouldn’t even be alive. These roles really weren’t for me, they only existed in my dreams. I got real and it got me depressed and suicidal. I started dreaming and living into my dream and I got happiness and success. Which do you choose – getting real or dreaming? If you get real, you get what you’ve got or what other people tell you that you can have. If you dream, you get it all because, when you dream and live into that dream, you create your reality.

What’s your dream? I want to know. I want to help you live into it and make it your reality because it is possible. So, please, can I get a woot woot?!