The most powerful words you can say are “yes” and “no”. The choices you make, determine not only whether you are successful, but whether you are happy. So, what are you saying yes to and what are you saying no to? Are you saying yes to the things that will actually make you happy and successful? More often than not, you aren’t!
We are so willing to say yes to someone else and not to ourselves. We are so willing to say yes to all the things we think we are supposed to want, that we think will get us ahead- that extra project, one more committee. Yes, to someone else to another external demand another item on your to do list, another item on your plate yes because when I get that or accomplish this, I will be successful and then, I’ll be happy, then I can focus on me.
At the same time we say no, no time to rest, no time for re-fueling, no time for personal development, no time to work on myself so I can happily and more full do all the things I’ve said yes to. The message you’re sending to yourself is I’m only good enough when I’m striving and working hard and I’m not worthy of my own time. I’m not worthy of being happy and feeling successful and supported while I accomplish all that I want to accomplish.
Rarely do you flat out say no to yourself. It’s a bit more subtle than that. Have you ever considered investing in a program or service for yourself and you hear yourself saying “now isn’t the right time,” “I’m too busy,” “I can’t afford it,” or “I need to get myself together first” Even though you really want the support and believe it is what you need. That is you saying no to yourself.
Think about it, was it your plan to be overwhelmed and not put together now? Didn’t think so. When do you plan to be less busy and more put together? nd, better yet, how do you plan to find time to focus on you or get yourself together so you can finally feel happy and supported? Do you have a system or support in place? Likely not. Otherwise, you would have used it in the first place.
SO, how did you end up feeling stuck and overwhelmed with all these things on your plate and no one truly supporting you the way you want and need? The truth of the matter is you said yes to it. You said yes to that extra project, yes to that additional committee, yes to added responsibility and leadership, which is wonderful, but you also said no to yourself; no I don’t have time and energy to devote to being the leader of my life.
Get this, professional advancement and personal development are not mutually exclusive. In fact, when you do both simultaneously, you get where you want to be quicker and easier. When you say yes, I’m taking on that new leadership role on that committee and yes, I’m investing in myself so I can show up fully, powerfully and as the best “me” possible in that new role, you become unstoppable.
Find a way to say yes to yourself today. You are at least as important as your goal. After all, even if your goal is bigger than you, you are the one who has to accomplish it. So, you’ve got to take care of yourself.